Crazy Dog

It really wasn’t a big bite. But Danielle, our neighbor, was very concerned. On her way home she passed a man with a dog who bit her suddenly. The dog. Not the man. Not deep, but enough to create a small wound. She shouted, more out of fear than pain and asked the man if the dog was inoculated for rabies. “None of your business!’, said the man and walked away. Just as I was parking my car I saw her sitting on the ground near the park which is close to our home. I went over to see what was up and she told me what happened.

I suggested we go to the Health Fund and helped into my car. We arrived within a few minutes and luckily our family doctor was still there. He looked at Danielle’s leg and then at me. “Did this Dutchman bite you?” he asked dryly. Despite her condition Danielle started to laugh. The good doctor prepared a syringe and gave her a shot against anything that can go wrong. He told her not to worry about the leg, but to worry about getting home with me driving. As I know our doc for over 20 years, I just let it slide. Just as we were about to leave, he gave her a small card. “Ministry of Health. You should report it, really.” , he suggested.

On our way home we had bad traffic. I asked my neighbor of she wanted to use my phone to call the ministry and she agreed. She dialed and pretty quick someone answered.

“Health.”, said a voice with an heavy Russian accent.

“Hello , my name is Danielle and I was bitten by a dog.”, said my neighbor.

“Which dog?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I don’t know.”

“We need to know the name of the dog and that of the owner, you know.”, said the woman with great authority.

“But the dog bit me and the owner walked away with the dog.”

“And you could not ask for the name of the dog?”

“No, because the dog bit me.”

“And the owner?”

“The owner did not bite me.”

Silence on the line. A deep sigh.

“Do you know who owns the dog?”

“No.”

“You couldn’t just even ask?

“He just walked away.”

“Who, the owner or the dog?”

“Both.”

Another great sigh on the other side of the line.

“Look without the dog we cannot act, you understand.”

“Ma’am. I just was bitten by a dog, got some stuff injected to me by a doctor, I am in pain and do not feel so good. What do you suggest I do?”

“Rest, maybe?”

“But the doctor said to call you.”

“Nice, but without the name of the dog there is nothing we can do.”

“But I was bitten!” Daniela was getting upset.

“Bitten…really… ..you sound fine to me.”, was the cold answer.

Daniela looked shocked. I made a gesture and winked at her. She nodded. Being my neighbor she already knew where I was going.

“Excuse me, I am the neighbor and maybe I can help?” I said sweetly.

“Oh really…”, was the answer of Health.

“Yes I saw it all.”

“And you know the dog?”

“An evil Rottweiler!”, I answered slowly.

The other side went quiet.

“And I know the owner!”, I added for tension.

“You have a name?” asked Mrs. Health now happily.

“Oh yes I do!”, I answered happily too while making faces at Daniela.

“Can you give the name to me please?”

“ Of course: Mordechai Kishmantuches! But I have no idea where he lives…” I looked at Daniela and said the surname slowly. She started to laugh.

“Is the patient okay there?”, asked Health.

“Excellent!”, I said.

“Sir thank you so much, we will find the suspect. We work national and international and will apprehend the dog soon. Thank you and shalom!”

I looked at my neighbor who started to feel better.

If ever you hear about a Mr. Kishmantuches being looked for by the authorities, at least you know about the crazy dog that made that happen.

©Simon Soesan