My partner in life finally succeeded: I joined her to the supermarket. She mostly goes alone, as I have little patience for these institutes. But she seduced me by promising a cup of coffee at our favorite café afterwards, so off we went to the super, after the 'normal' security checks at the entrance of the parking, the entrance of the mall, the elevator and the entrance of the super.
She had a list of things to buy and my task was simple: push the cart and pay at the end.
As we were strolling along the rows of products I smelled that wonderful smell of grilled meat. At a corner I saw this lady behind a table offering pieces of grilled meat to clients, so they could taste it. Of course, I just had to try it myself. The love of my life came back just as I was chewing and asked what I was eating. "Nothing.", I said innocently. She threw some products in the cart and walked away. At the corner of the next row I saw another lady behind another table. She offered cookies. As I happened to like cookies and this was another test, I volunteered to try five different cookies. Of course my other half came with stuff for the cart and asked me again what I was eating. "Nothing!", I said again to her, almost insulted. She gave me a hard look and walked off with her list. I pushed the cart around the corner and there was this gentleman offering sausage. Of course I just finished a nice piece as my partner came back with more stuff for the cart, asking me if I was stuffing myself with something. "Absolutely not!", I told her angrily.
One half hour and five 'tests' later we were at the cash-register, where some ladies were handing out small ice-creams for tasting. As I am always willing to help people, I took one. "And now?", asked my sweetheart. "Mitswah!", I cried, "she asked for help!"
She looked at me accusingly, but at that moment a lady behind us asked: "Can I please pay before you? You have so much in your cart and I am in a hurry…"
"My husband is busy with important tests, so please go ahead.", said my darling while giving me the eye.
The woman behind us was fast and before we knew it, she passed us with a cart as full as ours.
"Lady,", I said, "that is not what you said!"
The woman looked at me and answered: "Hutspah!, the woman next to you said it was all right!". She turned around and started to unload her cart.
I looked at my wife.
"Someone over there is offering free cheese,", she said, "did you skip that one?"
© Simon Soesan