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Monday, July 12, 2010

The air-condition-war

Look, I'll always be a Dutchman. And that also means that warm weather can be nice, but as its limits for me. That is why a fully integrated air-conditioning was one of our biggest investments in our house . Cool in the summer, warm in the winter, said the technician. And so it is. But we do have one small problem: the love of my life and our children are born Israelis and do not mind the heat that much. In fact, they love it. Of course, air-condition can be nice now and then, but how much does an Israeli need it, on top of the Carmel mountain? The first year it was still a novelty and everyone had fun turning it on and off. Of course, having the house heated in the winter was a bonus.

I have no idea when it started, but my partner in life arranged a secret conspiracy. And a clever one, at that. It happens that, when I come home, during the warm summer evenings, I close all the windows and turn on the air-conditioning. In just a few minutes the house is cool: what a way to live! I had no notion of the secret glances that would go among my family and would go to take a quick shower to freshen up and not notice the open windows upon my return to the living room. Neither would I notice that the air-condition would be off. I make long days and am tired in the evenings, so only after one hour or so, feeling my own sweat, I would catch on. At first they would all deny the fact that I switched on the air-conditioning. They also tried "it just stopped", but I am not buying that, of course.

Since I am not a complete fool, I decided to hit back. One can understand that this is not an easy task without any help. But I returned again from work, closed all the windows, activated the air-conditioning, walked into the bathroom, and like a real James Bond, opened the door again, only to find the love of my life with her finger on the switch of the air-conditioning. "And what is this then?", I asked very cleverly. "Dust.", she answered innocently and walked away. I decided to announce that I would shower with the bathroom opened, but the enemy had retired for the evening.

Back in the living-room I found my family wearing jogging-suits… ninety degrees outside they dress up warmly! But I acted as if was the most normal thing in the world. By the time we went to sleep I found my sweetheart in bed, covered with two blankets. I said nothing and went to sleep, only to wake up two hours later, sweating as if I had a fever, but I quickly understood that the windows were open and the air-conditioning was off… the enemy had beat me to it! And the enemy was next to me in our bed, pretending to be asleep and trying not to smile.

I have tried everything, even offered our children money! But they are unbreakable….. just ganging up on me with their mother!

This week I will sleep in my car: I will put the air-condition on fifty, maybe even forty and lock the doors! See what they can do then…

© Simon Soesan

1 comment:

  1. It must be difficult for you to wake up sweating as if you went out for a jog. I think people have different thresholds when it comes to heat. Maybe one thing you can do is talk to your family about allotting equal time periods to turn the AC unit on and off. That should put an end to this air-condition-war!

    Avery Simek