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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

We'll do better next time

Look, admit it: these guys at the UN are busy. With so many countries as members throwing parties, and so many countries inviting so many people to come over for a visit, who has time to work?

But they do work, these poor bastards. They have their own little trick to get the work done and show the world that they, the UN, work hard for their money. Excuse me: for the loads of money.

So let's have a look at their average week and how things are done, the UN way: demonstrations in Syria, Yemen, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, Egypt (yep, they are still at it!), Ivory Coast, Libya… The UN took a quick look and, ok, so these local dictators shoot at demonstrators, but let’s not get carried away and raise the oil prices, surely there must be bigger problems in the world.

And while they European hypocrites changed their tune against Gadhaffi from praising the chairman of the UN committee for Human Rights (you have to agree – these guys have a sense of humor!), to chasing a head of state just because he tells the truth about them and dares to stand up against them. The EU, as well as the US, are very concerned about Libya, you know: they kept calling Shell, Chevron and BP non-stop, so concerned they are…

When the Japanese Disaster happened, the UN took a wise decision. They figured that Japan has no oil and with all this radioactive stuff around, they better play stupid (a part that fits them naturally) and look the other way. Only one country helped immediately and sent Geiger counters as well as a field hospital equipped for such disasters: Israel. Those damn Jews again!

When that same Israel started to be bombarded by Hamas and was hit by close to 50 rockets and mortars in one morning, the UN was out for lunch. Or dinner. When in less than to days later this number went over the 300, the UN was busy. Too busy. When the allied forces bombarded Libyan civilians the UN was at a party. Just like in the good old days, when millions of people were killed and murdered in Ruanda and Darfur – the UN has more important things to do.

But when Israel retaliated and shot back at Gaza – lucky us – the UN was there. Forgetting they announced that Hamas is a terrorist group, the UN went to work. And how they work! 18 minutes after Israel shot back at the sources in Gaza that were bombarding Israeli cities for days, the UN was in full swing and issued its statement denouncing Israel for its barbaric behavior. These Jews again! They can't let a person have a quiet lunch!

Yes the United Nitwits work hard. And just.

Yesterday a bomb was detonated in the middle of Jerusalem.

I apologize: only one dead and 34 injured.

With the help of the UN, we'll do better next time.

©Simon Soesan

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